"If we find that you are not playing according to the rules of the game, you will find yourself removed from the game. No one wants to be removed from the game." - The Dungeonmaster

Even in a show like Dungeonmaster, there are a few ground rules to make sure no one gets hurt and everyone has a good time. The Dungeonmaster goes over these at the beginning of the show, but if you need a refresher course, read carefully:

Combat

• All fights are in slow motion. Blows that are not in slow motion will be completely ineffective. If a player repeatedly ignores the slooooooow motion rules, the gods will send that player to a messy death.

Spells

• All spells must rhyme. They must form a short couplet of moderate length. Think of what you want the spell to do and then come up with something that rhymes. But don't make them too short! Spells such as "Up, pup!" and "Oh that healing feeling!"-- well, they just won't do.
• Use grand gestures. A loud voice also helps. It is very hard during the 'heat of combat', to see who is throwing a spell AND to hear what it is they are trying to do. Use grand gestures (big arm movements) and a loud voice to ensure the god can hear and see you, and your spell goes off the way you want it. NOTE: If you throw a spell while in combat you must move in SLOW MOTION.
• You have only ten spells. The party is limited to ten spells per adventure. You may not cast a spell to get more spells. Once you are out of spells, bad things happen, and we all go to House of Pies a little early.
• Only use a version of a spell once. You may not cast a HEAL spell, then a FEEL BETTER spell, then a I DON'T HURT THAT BAD SPELL. Once you've thrown a TELEPORT, you can't throw another one. Get the idea?
• Spells thrown at the same time cancel out. If two characters start waving their arms around and overlap each other during casting, neither spell will work and the Party will lose ONE spell.

General

• Do not remove clothing from dead characters or monsters. Yes, you can strip-search the bodies in D&D, but it's not as funny as it sounds in real life. Don't try it, lest the gods smite you where you stand.
• Do not move or take any set pieces unless instructed to do so by the characters or the guide. Again, it's possible in D&D, but this is Dungeonmaster. If there's a question about taking something, ask the guide.
• If you are told that you are dead or wounded, then you are dead. Or wounded. If you should be so unfortunate as to die on the adventure, play dead, then return to your seat at the end of the scene and enjoy the rest of the show.
• If you are "killed" on stage, all magic items on you person will be lost.
• Any special items brought into the game must first be approved by the gods or the staff before you will be allowed to use them. Please explain to the staff before the show starts if you have any special abilities (gills, stealth) or items (magic rings, magic amulets, cheese of knowledge).

Unofficial Player's Version of the Rules

1. Don't piss off the Dungeonmaster (cave-ins, avalanches, deadly poisonous gas and other inescapable events have been known to happen for no reason).
2. Don't run off the playing area into the audience or backstage during a conflict (see Rule #1).
3. If you choose to go off adventuring on your own, don't expect to rejoin the party anytime soon.
4. Don't expect the guide to save you in time of need. What's more, don't let the guide die. Bad things can happen (see Rule #1).
5. Spells can be easily misunderstood or intentionally misinterpreted by the gods (even when you speak with a loud clear voice and use grand gestures). If a spell doesn't go your way, deal with it and don't get pissy (see Rule #1).
6. Do not physically hurt the monsters or poke them in the eye. There are cast members under those rags and a rubber mask doesn't really give us much protection.
7. Some members of the cast have been known to think themselves invulnerable against attack - even against the wishes of the DM and gods. Deal with it.
8. Really annoying characters will piss off the cast and DM (see Rule #1). Don't be obnoxious.
9. Really annoying audiences will piss off the cast and DM. A certain amount of audience interaction is appreciated, but overdoing it can ruin it for everyone. Unfortunately, we can't resort to Rule #1 and drop a house on the furry woodland creatures. Or can we?
10. All rules are subject to interpretation and can be changed at any time to suit the whims of the DM and the gods. You can either roll with it, or see Rule #1.