Rules

Note: Any flagrant violations of these rules will cause the offending player to be REMOVED FROM THE GAME (nobody wants to be removed from the game).

Combat

ALL FIGHTS ARE IN SLOW MOTION
Blows that are not in SLOW MOTION will be ineffectual. Repeated slow motion violations will cause you to be REMOVED FROM THE GAME.

Spells

ALL SPELLS MUST RHYME
They must form a short couplet of moderate length. Think of what you want the spell to do and then come up with something that rhymes. But don't make them too short. Spells such as "Up, pup!" and "Oh that healing feeling!" won't work.

USE GRAND GESTURES
A loud voice helps too. It is very hard during the 'heat of combat', to see who is throwing a spell AND to hear what it is they are trying to do. Use grand gestures (big arm movements) and a loud voice to ensure your spell goes off the way you want it to. NOTE: If you throw a spell while in combat you must move in SLOW MOTION.

YOU HAVE ONLY TEN SPELLS

ONLY USE A VERSION OF A SPELL ONCE
This is to prevent you from casting a HEAL spell, then a FEEL BETTER spell, then a I DON'T HURT THAT BAD SPELL. Once you've thrown a TELEPORT, you can't throw another one. Get the idea?

SPELLS THROWN AT THE SAME TIME CANCEL OUT
This means that if two characters start waving their arms around and overlap each other during casting, neither spell will work and the Party will lose ONE spell.

General

DO NOT REMOVE CLOTHING FROM DEAD CHARACTERS OR MONSTERS

DO NOT MOVE OR TAKE ANY SET PIECES UNLESS INSTRUCTED TO DO SO BY CHARACTERS OR GUIDE

IF YOU ARE TOLD YOU ARE DEAD OR WOUNDED BY ANY CHARACTER OR MONSTER, IT MEANS JUST THAT. PLAY DEAD, THEN PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR SEAT AND ENJOY THE REST OF THE SHOW

IF 'KILLED' WHILE ONSTAGE ALL MAGIC ITEMS ON YOUR PERSON WILL BE LOST

ANY ITEMS OR CHARACTER TRAITS BROUGHT INTO THE GAME MUST BE PRE-APPROVED BY THE STAFF BEFORE BEING ALLOWED IN PLAY

Unofficial Player's Version of the Rules

Rule #1: Don't piss off the Dungeonmaster (cave-ins, avalanches, deadly poisonous gas and other inescapable events have been known to happen for no reason).

Rule #2: Don't run off the playing area into the audience or backstage during a conflict (see Rule #1).

Rule #3: If you choose to go off adventuring on your own, don't expect to rejoin the party anytime soon.

Rule #4: Don't expect the guide to save your asses in time of need. What's more, don't let the guide die. Bad things can happen (see Rule #1).

Rule #5: Spells can be easily misunderstood or intentionally misinterpreted by the gods (even when you speak with a loud clear voice and use grand gestures). If a spell doesn't go your way, deal with it and don't get pissy (see Rule #1).

Rule #6: Do not physically hurt the monsters or poke them in the eye. There are cast members under those rags and a rubber mask doesn't really give us much protection.

Rule #7: Some members of the cast have been known to think themselves invulnerable against attack - even against the wishes of the DM and gods. Deal with it.

Rule #8: Really annoying characters will piss off the cast and DM (see Rule #1).

Rule #9: Really annoying audiences will piss off the cast and DM. A certain amount of audience interaction is appreciated, but overdoing it can ruin it for everyone. Unfortunately, we can't resort to Rule #1 and drop a house on the furry woodland creatures. Or can we...

Rule #10: All rules are subject to interpretation and can be changed at any time to suit the whims of the DM and the gods. You can either roll with it, or see Rule #1.